The "F" Word: FAILURE

Failure is a concept that we are well acquainted with. It does not discriminate nor is it exclusive to gender, ethnicity, creed or social status. It has entrenched itself into the human experience, becoming normal and expected at some point in life. Many have been defined by it, some have been handicapped by it. However, there are a few that have chosen to employ it to serve them instead. 

Amongst many respected voices, I have heard that failure is a part of success. Some have even heralded failure as a champion, insisting that their victories were subsequent to their failures. I have to be honest with you…I am not a fan of failure. I don’t enjoy the emotional anguish that is associated with it. I don’t rejoice over the disappointment that accompanies missing the target I was aiming for. Failure is defined as a lack of success and a state of inability to perform a normal function. It is a deviation from my intended goal, which would ultimately result in success--the fulfillment of purpose. 

Now that I have expressed my unbridled disdain for failure, let me now offer clarity on my current disposition towards it. I will admit that my rejection of the idea, that I have to fail to succeed, was fueled by my misinterpretation of the advocacy of failing. When I heard my mentors and other esteemed people speak about failure, failing forward or failing to succeed, I perceived it as them saying that the only road to success is through failure. I had difficulty reconciling the personal standard in which I live by, which is the word of God, with the concept that I had to fail. 

One such passage is found in Joshua 1:8, "Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do." was a contradiction to this idea. In addition, Jeremiah 29:11 states, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." So to accept failure as an inevitability was a jagged little pill for me to swallow. Through humility, revelation, time and experience, I came to understand the principle that was actually being conveyed to me: Failure is an instrument that can be employed in the pursuit of success. 

It is my perspective that failure should be treated as a temporary guest not a permanent resident. We want to ensure that the pendulum does not swing too far in either direction. We do not want to avoid failure out of fear, however, if we are experiencing habitual failure without signs of success, then it may be indicative that we are not gleaning from our errors, but merely repeating the same blunders. As with everything, in order to maximize benefit, failure has to be viewed with the correct perspective. Recognizing what failure is and what it is not can help navigate our encounters with it. 

Failure is NOT an identity

While failure can happen in life, accepting it as an epithet or surname is not ideal or expedient. It should not describe who I am like Jesus the Christ, Richard the Lionhearted or Gandalf the Grey. I am not Carlton the Failure. The only thing that can make you a failure is when you choose to be defined by the failed attempt or mistake. 

Failure is NOT a destination

It can be a temporary stop, but it is not the intended objective for your life. Permanently casting down your anchor at the port of failure is not the Captain’s orders. Get the supplies and resources you need from there, then prepare to board the ship to get underway to your true landing place.

Failure is NOT an excuse 

Failure is not the scapegoat to justify inconsistency, laziness or lack of will. It is not the reason that can be used for lack of progress or advancement. Constantly pointing to previous mistakes can be paralyzing and the crutch that supports inaction. It does not pardon the refusal to get up from a fall in order to start climbing again. 

In my experience, I have found that there tends to be three common responses to failure: justify, withdrawal or leverage.

01 | Justify- When failure is justified, there is usually ZERO responsibility that is assumed and there is a tendency to blame others for the failure itself. This response will result in stagnation. Lack of growth personally and professionally can be a sign that there is a habit developed of justifying failure. 

02 | Withdrawal- The withdrawal response is characterized by the willingness to accept responsibility for the failure, but consequently define yourself by it. This response will result in lack of confidence and reluctance to explore, take risks or advance forward

03 | Leverage- Leveraging failure is accepting responsibility for the failure and choosing to utilize it as a learning opportunity. Turning something that could’ve been a stumbling block into a stepping stone is how one leverages failure. This response leads to insight and wisdom. 

How we perceive and respond to failure plays a huge part in the level of success that we will attain. 

Failure IS an action. It is an activity that does not lead to the desired outcome or result.

Failure IS education. It is successfully learning how not to do something. 

Failure IS a tool. It is an instrument used in the process of developing character.

Accepting responsibility and acknowledging the role that you played is key in overcoming the failure, but this must be accompanied with the inspiration to move forward. Make the choice to leverage failure, which will ultimately lead to success. Though, I am aware of the possibility of failure, I do not readily invite it in. I aspire, rather, to seek the wisdom from above so I can be guarded by discretion, work smarter not harder, and reduce disappointment.

How are you going to respond?